Italian wisdom that inspired my writing career

I was recently talking to a few writers and the question that we ended up talking to for quite some time was this: What has been the biggest challenge in the self-publishing journey?

The Biggest Challenge in Self-Publishing (It Wasn’t What I Expected)

As we theorized and philosophized, I realized my biggest challenge, the thing that changed everything for me, was getting out of my own damn way.

I had soooo many excuses. I wanted to publish all the stories I was writing, but it seemed like every story I wrote, I was also able to come up with the same number of reasons why I couldn’t possibly publish; always (meta)physically pulling those obstacles clearly labeled ‘Self-Sabotage’ into my path.

What helped me? Exhaustion.

One day, I was just too damn tired to get in my own way. It was exhausting coming up with reasons to not do the thing I was most passionate about and had dreamed of since I was fourteen.

At the same time exhaustion was clearing a path, I went to a conference and came away with a very strong idea that aided in my ‘getting out of my way’-ness. The idea that sometimes, to accomplish your dreams, you have to stop chasing perfection.

Let me tell you, when you get out of your way and stop trying to be perfect, you’ll find you have a lot of energy to turn elsewhere. When I did that, things began to fall into place. Not perfectly, but awkwardly and at jagged angles. It came with dismissing fears and voices of nay-sayers that had set up shop over the years in my head.

There is this invisible base level fear that drives us to put obstacles in our way in the first place. The survival brain that tells us to just stay in our lane and we’ll be safe.

Well, because I was stepping outside my lane, the fears got loud and demanded that people were going to look at me and judge me. They might think less of me, think I’m awful, think I’m ridiculous, think I’m … (insert a lifetime of insecurities here.)

But I duct-taped the mouths of those damned voices best I could, put my head down and got to work.

I was invited to a group of self-published romance authors who helped me and then I published my first book.

And let me tell you, when Big Trouble in Little Italy came out, there were imperfections! A handful of misspelled words, a mixture of curly and straight quotation marks, a few strange formatting issues … it was anything from perfect. But I had leaned into the idea of ‘good enough’. Embraced the un-perfect if you will. And that leap helped me told on with both hands to ‘good enough’ and began to grow. I was willing to make mistakes in front of a lot of people.

I embraced falling, failing and flailing. And I accepted that I was going to do a lot of that publicly. And I accepted that I was going to a lot of learning publicly as well. 

But there had to be something else that gave me the courage to do what I’ve never done before. To be a beginner. Because when I decided to self-publish, I had a lot of gaps of knowledge in a LOT of different places.

But I had a tiny bit of faith that somehow, I’d gain the knowledge.

The Italian Wisdom That Guided Me

I started to think about lessons I’d learned in my life that I often looked too, ones that helped keep me centered.

And wouldn’t you know it, they are all ideas that come from Italy.

The first that comes to mind is from the movie, Under the Tuscan Sun:

“Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come.”

I always wondered if this was true, and it is.

Building the Train Tracks Before the Train Exists

The line is called the Semmering and in very boring Wikipedia talk: “The Semmering railway… in Austria, which starts at Gloggnitz and leads over the Semmering to Mürzzuschlag, was the first mountain railway in Europe built with a standard gauge track. It is commonly referred to as the world’s first true mountain railway, given the very difficult terrain and the considerable altitude difference that was mastered during its construction. It is still fully functional as a part of the Southern Railway which is operated by the Austrian Federal Railways.”

But I’ve always loved the lesson. Sometimes you must take the leap. The train will appear.

When I decided to get out of my own way, when I decided to talk my friend (now editor) into working with me, things started happening. I met a group of writers who were self-published, and while I didn’t have a published book, while I didn’t comment very much in the group (insecure and fearful of what these seasoned, published authors would think of me), I showed up for write alongs and informational meetings and began to gain important knowledge.

Another Italian idea that I like to bring up is regarding the Duomo in Florence.

The Duomo of Florence: Building Without All the Answers

Did you know when they began to build the Duomo in Florence, they didn’t know how to construct the dome that would finish it? They just accepted that at some point, someone would come along with the knowhow to finish it. And it happened, about 120 years later.

So I decided to “build the train tracks and the Duomo” – frantically, fearfully, uncertainly – putting all my faith in the fact that somehow I’d figure the rest out. I made my book the best I could, I found an editor, I did research and talked an artist into designing my cover. And I did that all completely and utterly scared, worried and fighting the fears that come with the territory of doing things differently.

And the strangest thing happened. All those steps got me out of my own way. I found the right people who helped point me in the right direction, I even found out there was such a thing in the world as a book coach. That book coach gave me a blueprint of what was required of me to accomplish my goals. Her best advice: Not to look at the big picture when publishing my first book, because with time, I’d grow comfortable and be able to add more steps to the process.

I put blinders on and tried not to look at the edges of the large map, because I was about to make a very public scene. And that had to be okay.

Then I published my first book, when it was ‘good enough’.

And people read it.

And I slowly, lesson by lesson, learned how to do more in the indie publishing world.

And I don’t know if it’s gotten easier, the fear. But I don’t let it take up as much space as it used to.

When I published my second book, we had problems with the colorization of the cover. The early readers only had critiques. I spent a hectic week leading up to publication, correcting problems. And I was so worried about the book, when it was released, I didn’t celebrate, I hid under the bed.

(Okay, maybe it wasn’t that dramatic, but I didn’t go on social media for a week.)

But even that was a good lesson.  It was a reminder WHY I was doing any of this in the first place.

For the love of the written story.

Lessons for Writers (and Anyone Chasing a Dream)

Eleven books and a few years later, I know so much more. Things I couldn’t begin to fully comprehend that first day I hit the upload button. And I know for certain, next year it will be the same. But here’s the biggest secret. The biggest lessons I’ve learned, came from making mistakes and not being scared to make those mistakes.

So my friend, wherever you find yourself, whatever it is you are attempting to accomplish, I say build your tracks.

Get ready to revel in looking foolish.

Embrace any and all mistakes make, wear those as a badge of honor.

Go forward. Boldly, wobbly, uncertainly.

And most importantly, get out of your damn way.

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And if you’re a writer struggling with perfectionism, I’d love to hear how you’re getting out of your own way — share in the comments!