A daily to-do list for times of resistance
(Written at 3:36 am when my congestion woke me up gagging)
Wake up.
Breathe.
Scramble to find hope in the fact that you woke up today.
Get the kids to school.
Tilt them out of the car and try not to let your voice waiver as your verbal flailings remind them:
YOU are amazing. YOU are powerful. YOU’ll get through this. You are WORTHY.
Cry on the drive to work.
Rage scream.
Early morning: During second and third cups of coffee, check on friends.
How are you?
We’ve got this!
I believe in YOU.
YOU’ll get through this.
You are WORTHY.
Mid morning: is for pasted smiles and pretending to work while calling representatives and trying to find that one website that explains what to say.
Later mid morning: is for humming that catchy viral tune:
La la la la la la la la la la
One more cup of coffee to attempt a disassociation from the buzz of atrocities in the ether making it difficult to concentrate.
Lunch: Brave the cold with PBJ in hand. Watch the squirrels fight over a nut and immerse yourself in flowers pushing their way above ground. Try not to envy the birds ignorant of declarations and lines being drawn. Definitely don’t make your PBJ some sad metaphor about US.
Everyone knows the all-american sandwich was always baloney.
Drive home: Exorcise with pasted prayers. Then force messages of hope on the kids at pick-up.
I’m so sorry that happened to you.
YOU will get through this.
YOU are amazing.
YOU are stronger than you know.
I love you.
Do you know your WORTHY?
Someone presses fast forward on the evening’s activities: Guitar lessons, strength training, therapy, making dinner, dragon fighting, book club …
And midnight finally: in front of the mirror – mid moisturizer – tell the self in the mirror; you ARE worthy, you ARE stronger than you think …
You ARE amazing
And it’s okay when your voice cracks as you insist – you WILL get through this …
