Nicole Sharp

Writes

Set the table…

I can’t adult today. I don’t want to adult today. I am in no mood to adult today. Therefore, I am going to run away from home and join the circus.Vintage Elephant

But what is my talent? I don’t think traveling bard is a thing anymore. Can you get paid to be a traveling bard these days? No matter how you spin it. I am not interesting enough to be an attraction at a circus and I am pretty sure in our PC world the circus isn’t the thing it used to be in the 40s and 50s. I suppose I could always clean up after the animals, but that’s the reason I’m running away in the first place. I don’t want to clean up after the animals in this house anymore.

So I guess I’m going to run away and join the carnival. I’ll be a carnival worker. I’ll work the fair circuit. Though, to put a stereotype on it, I am not in shape for that either. I don’t smoke, I have all my hair, all my teeth, I don’t have any tattoos, I don’t have an awkward leer that makes every day people uncomfortable. So no carnie life for me.

That leaves running away from home and entering some of my work in the fair.

I AM growing vegetables, but unless there is a category for the most neglected, heat affected veggie, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to qualify there. I don’t paint, only with words. I kind of sew, but nothing I’m going to put up against all those crazy quilt-y ladies. Unless I put my 4 year olds name on it, but then that would become a thing and I would have to show the prodigy 4 year old quilter at work and the next thing you know social services is involved and the whole point of running away from home in the first place is all for naught.

So, other entries in the fair I recall from atop my head, a lot had to do with raising animals and such, but as we gave the chicken coop away when we moved into this house, that’s out. Best cultivated flowers, nope. Model airplanes; not my thing. Woodworking. Unless they consider wood purchased at Michael’s and artistically glued together woodworking, I’m out of that one too. Oh, cooking. Hmmm, there’s cake decorating, canning and baking. But I am a little confused as to morality in that area. Do you HAVE to admit that you are using your great grandmother’s recipe (who consequently won the blue ribbon at the fair ten years in a row?) or do you just hope no one will find out? That might be a “NO” category as well.

But wait, just wait one darn tootin’ second.

There is something I am good at and strangely interested in and didn’t even know existed or was a thing. At the Orange County Fair this year, they had a Table Setting Contest.

Just in case it’s early in the morning while you’re reading this, I’ll write it again.

A Table Setting Contest.

My mom even sent me pictures of this event. I went on line and read the rules of said event. I had a reaction along the lines of wait, what?

Wait…wait…what?

table scape oc fair 2015

Then I looked on line at various table setting competitions from around our fine country, and know what? They exist. Fine folks who compete in creating Tablescapes.table scape 2015

So if you will please excuse me, I am going to dust off my fine silver, shake out my table clothes and be on my merry way. I am running away from home to become a table setting contest enterer (a table-scaper) for the next tenure of my life.

Or until I have to get home to put that 4 year old to bed.

2015 oc fair

1 Comment

  1. See, it’s fun to come up with a stage career, not only at dinner parties, but for when we really just need to exist somewhere else for awhile. I’m hooked on “radio show host.” Who knew table-scaper was a thing! Cool!

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