AIRMy kid has been obsessively watching all the Air Bud movies. You see, I’ve got the inspiration bug lately and all I want to do is write. So I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve been using the tablet as a babysitter while I write. The problem is that said child and said tablet like to be right next to me while I write.

So you can understand that mistakenly, I might have been listening to these made for kid movies that are made as quickly as a “Voice” star. I imagine four weeks from first draft to upload on Netflix. They remind me of a well-meaning eight grade video project.

Strangely, I think I have found a new path for my writing talents. Let’s call this: Plan 3,426C. Another “let’s get a tiny tiny bit of monetary security through my writing so I don’t ever have to face that fact that when all is said and done I am not qualified to do any sort of real job in the real world” plan.

“Plan C” for short.

I’m going to go work on mass-produced animal/kid movies where slipping on whip cream and banana peels still gets laughs and where actors give their best performance when it’s over the top and goofy. I shall put my energy into such wondrous works as:

Air Bud 23: Surf Bud and the curse of the Tiki

and

Beethoven 65: Eat, Bark, Love. Two dogs, one love, and the pesky bird who keeps them apart.

Fame and fortune, here I come!

Actually, the main reason I want to work for said movie genre is because I want to name the background stuff.

Example: In whatever Air Bud was on this morning, and I’m not about to ask. The four-year old will tell me the whole convoluted story line and I’ll wait until bedtime for the recap thank you very much. I digress, the main teenage character takes the girl he’s interested in to a movie.

What movie did they go see?

Ninja Bloody Ninja.

For some reason that made me want to name things in movies. And, I want to write for these movies because there is a sense of whimsy.

No, that’s not the word.

It’s like crappy ideas are pieced together, regular suspension of disbelief is thrown out the window. You don’t even have to subscribe to the idea of suspending your belief.

For example again: At the end of one of these movies, there is a scene where the main characters are watching the Women’s World Cup final. There are penalty kicks. It’s down to the wire for the USA team. It’s dramatic. Mia Hamm does a cameo. Then, their goalie was hurt so as they are apt to do, the USA Women’s World Cup team brought in their benched star player. A dog! (Insert dramatic eye roll here). Of course the USA team won.

And now, even though I have found a new career, I also have spent entirely too much time reiterating part of the plot line for one of the Air Bud movies which means I need to find a set of headphone somewhere or I need to take a break from writing.

(Ms. McRoberts, just in case for some reason you read this. I mean you no disrespect. I just loved the move title. Ninja Bloody Ninja…hee hee.)